She walked into my yard one day, one night... I'm not sure. It was the fall of 2002. She was a gorgeous Siamese who I believed had lost her way because how could anyone give up a cat as beautiful as this one? At the time, I had two other outdoor cats who had drifted into my yard as refugees from a neighborhood hoarder. I wasn't in the market for a third outdoor cat. I was surprised the two black sisters had stayed. I already had two cats living indoors. And now there was the Siamese.

I gave her a temporary name... Pad Thai... she was a Siamese cat, Siam is the ancient name for Thailand, Pad Thai is Thai food, I love Pad Thai noodles... so she became Pad Thai. From the beginning, Pad Thai took whatever she deemed was best and newest. The black cats got kicked out of their house. Soon I had to have three heated dog houses for my outdoor family, one for each. The black girls hated her. I tried to find her a home, I really did. But there were no takers so she stayed.

Over the years, the three of them developed an uneasy peace. I never liked having outdoor animals because I worried about them so much. At one point, I realized raccoons were scaring Pad Thai so I put her house on a table up high, so nothing scurrying around on the ground would scare her. She liked that a lot. Plus, even though the house wasn't new, the location was new. Pad Thai likes new things. I think I mentioned that. I found it funny that she kind of took over the yard.

So Pad Thai lives in the yard to this day. It's summer now so her house is put away but she still sleeps in a bed on top of the table at night, on the patio chairs during the day.

A few weeks ago, I noticed she wasn't quite acting like herself. Pad Thai, the creature of comfort, was not sleeping on a chair, but on the ground, in the grass or within the bushes. It didn't seem right. Her eye was weeping. I brought her to the vet and the vet saw her teeth weren't good and that was probably causing her pain.

My cat had three teeth extracted and the vet took a biopsy and said she would send it in if Pad Thai's gums hadn't healed because it might be cancer. I took her in Monday because her eye was still weeping. My vet sent in the biopsy and on Wednesday I got the results. Pad Thai has oral squamous cell carcinoma. It is a fast-moving, painful cancer. The prognosis is bad. I would say dire even. The vet said she would not live another month.

Now I don't know if you can tell or not but I love this girl. She's been here 12 years. Her silly, graceful, interesting Siamese ways have completely charmed me.

I don't really know how to end this. I am so completely sad right now. I don't want her to be in pain. And I don't want her to leave. But, to paraphrase "Game of Thrones," all cats must die.

I hope I gave Pad Thai a good life. She gave me a good life. I took care of her, she was sweet to me. A grand bargain.

She's not gone yet... but I will miss her so. I just have to make sure she knows she's loved while she's still here.